From diagnosis to recovery, the cancer process is one that is strenous and demands an astronomical amount of strength from the patient. The changes that come with cancer are mainly faced by the patient themselves, but it often extends to their family and friends, affecting relationships they have with themselves and others.
Cancer affects both parties in a relationship. The patient themselves, is going through a life changing process, that’s sure to be intimidating, scary and painful. They’re forced to be slave to their body and this can have implications on their mental health which will bleed into the relationship. The secondary party, tries to be strong and put on a brave face, even when they are struggling through their own fears and feelings. This lack of communication, fed by fears and worries, results in unhealthy relationships and poor connections.
Most couples report that the cancer process has strengthened their relationship, the difficult times putting their relationship through the wringer, making it come out all the stronger. When faced with tough decisions and emotional distress, it is common to want to withdraw, give up or take the easy way out of the relationship. It’s definitely hard seeing a loved one pain, and feeling powerless to stop it. However, the decisions people make during difficult times prove to be the most important ones, earning you those memorable moments with your person, no matter how long they last. One study, published in the Journey of Clinal Oncology suggests that there’s a higher chance of sucessfull cancer treatment with patients who are in healthy relationships, possibly because of the support system and continous love they receive.
The cancer process has physical effects on your body as well, be it scars from surgery, hair loss from the chemotherapy process or long-drawn bouts of tiredness. There could also be side-effects and complications that lead to sexual difficulties, or inability to engage in sex. The bodily changes have a way of affecting self confidence, and sometimes make people feel insecure or undesirable. This leads to problems with intimacy, and self-confidence, for it takes a lot of that to put yourself in a vulnerable position in front of someone else.
Cancer can also affect friendships, putting enormous strain and tension on the relationship. You may emerge with a life-long friend, one who stood by you through the process, while also seeing other relationships strain and give. It’s hard to open up to people about your worries and struggles, be it friends or family, when you see that they have similar worries themselves.
Numerous relationship therapists and experts recommend that effective communication is the key. Keep talking about your problems, and address anything that comes up, because brushing it under the carpet will do no one any good. It might be easier to retreat into yourself, and save yourself the pain, but putting in effort will gain you those treasured moments that you will cherish forever.
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